they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
