I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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