And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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