Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
