what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
