Don't you send me to vm
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
