Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
