turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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