After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
