I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
