3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
