We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
