she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
