i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
