So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
