Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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