Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
