Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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