im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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