I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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