Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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