I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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