I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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