Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
