The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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