I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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