Me. At least after what I've been through.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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