My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
