ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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