just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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