I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
