Just fell off a train. Bad.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
