i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
