I like my sex mixed with concussions.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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