just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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