Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
