tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
