I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
