What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
