The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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