My first STD was from a foam party
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
