Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night