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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

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• (213): View more from California

  How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Drunk

  (845): View more from New York

  Deyhxbr

  (845): View more from New York

  Fucaerrrrr

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus

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• (512): View more from Texas

  We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  "YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple 

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• (323): View more from California

  You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."

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