Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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  (303): I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment. http://tfl.nu/lu2o
  Replies (11) Good night (3602) Bad night (1025)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

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  (405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6
  Replies (25) Good night (6738) Bad night (1714)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up

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  (402): I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up http://tfl.nu/r2kn
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (2104)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after

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  (979): I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after http://tfl.nu/y0mb
  Replies (8) Good night (4689) Bad night (757)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.

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  (228): It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression. http://tfl.nu/876s
  Replies (11) Good night (778) Bad night (1996)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it

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  (815): Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it http://tfl.nu/8nv8
  Replies (16) Good night (2349) Bad night (628)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.

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  (901): I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort. http://tfl.nu/rrlp
  Replies (5) Good night (533) Bad night (1128)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.

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  (410): Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii. http://tfl.nu/nmvv
  Replies (6) Good night (2173) Bad night (520)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.

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  (708): There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/luzg
  Replies (12) Good night (1213) Bad night (438)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.

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  (914): I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status. http://tfl.nu/koi8
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (620)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems

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  (239): I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems http://tfl.nu/p6dg
  Replies (8) Good night (636) Bad night (326)
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  (710): View more from

  It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.

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  (710): It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse. http://tfl.nu/ozwb
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.

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  (914): You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow? (216): We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans. http://tfl.nu/x8ub
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (270)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?

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  (714): I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve? http://tfl.nu/wdxs
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (250)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card

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  (217): I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card http://tfl.nu/8646
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (300)

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