Texts From Last Night

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  (469): View more from Texas

  i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

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  (469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine... http://tfl.nu/msgo
  Replies (34) Good night (12903) Bad night (896)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.

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  (785): You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early. http://tfl.nu/h3ys
  Replies (21) Good night (1019) Bad night (3719)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  he had to chose between the booze and condoms

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  what did he choose?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?

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  (857): he had to chose between the booze and condoms (774): what did he choose? (857): the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right? http://tfl.nu/iz27
  Replies (18) Good night (1246) Bad night (5350)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?

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  (618): i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right? http://tfl.nu/y3vu
  Replies (49) Good night (1160) Bad night (7246)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

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  (702): I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad. http://tfl.nu/4uh2
  Replies (16) Good night (4856) Bad night (1387)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.

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  (513): Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this. http://tfl.nu/ipvr
  Replies (8) Good night (3149) Bad night (1029)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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  (219): I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry http://tfl.nu/lrp2
  Replies (21) Good night (1129) Bad night (4427)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

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  (312): the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses http://tfl.nu/vxdn
  Replies (4) Good night (5014) Bad night (742)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.

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  (503): Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying. http://tfl.nu/kt03
  Replies (9) Good night (790) Bad night (2008)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus

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  (315): I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus http://tfl.nu/f2or
  Replies (5) Good night (1378) Bad night (719)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL

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  (201): I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL http://tfl.nu/z2bq
  Replies (7) Good night (1458) Bad night (417)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke

  (647): View more from Ontario

  She kept going

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  (647): She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke (647): She kept going http://tfl.nu/fte0
  Replies (2) Good night (1139) Bad night (333)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.

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  (416): You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/90l8
  Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (283)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it

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  (505): Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it http://tfl.nu/hkkt
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (432)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth

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  (301): I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth http://tfl.nu/nt7d
  Replies (4) Good night (327) Bad night (246)

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