How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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