Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.

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(715): I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that. http://tfl.nu/f05r

Replies (7) Good night (1474) Bad night (5565)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?

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(318): He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer? http://tfl.nu/zjcd

Replies (11) Good night (3709) Bad night (1430)
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(845): View more from New York

That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...

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(845): That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot... http://tfl.nu/l2p1

Replies (3) Good night (2277) Bad night (829)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking

(920): View more from Wisconsin

All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo

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(920): The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking (920): All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo http://tfl.nu/eenc

Replies (9) Good night (2319) Bad night (941)
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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.

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(+31): I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates. http://tfl.nu/urqj

Replies (3) Good night (2464) Bad night (670)
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(213): View more from California

Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??

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(213): Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast?? http://tfl.nu/wkuh

Replies (25) Good night (3744) Bad night (1273)
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(206): View more from Washington

The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club

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(206): The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club http://tfl.nu/n7qr

Replies (6) Good night (886) Bad night (817)
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(714): View more from California

You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!

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(714): You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue! http://tfl.nu/dw09

Replies (5) Good night (1735) Bad night (769)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

My god, what have you done?

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(203): Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship. (1-203): My god, what have you done? http://tfl.nu/3iim

Replies (3) Good night (1823) Bad night (640)
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(706): View more from Georgia

If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?

(901): View more from Tennessee

Most definitely.

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(706): If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you? (901): Most definitely. http://tfl.nu/a94l

Replies (4) Good night (994) Bad night (394)
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(770): View more from Georgia

You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.

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(770): You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of. http://tfl.nu/9xxo

Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (401)
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(514): View more from Quebec

all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something

(1-514): View more from Quebec

how did you graduate high school

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(514): all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something (1-514): how did you graduate high school http://tfl.nu/3j47

Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (473)
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(613): View more from Ontario

If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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(613): If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day http://tfl.nu/i6y7

Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (344)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?

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(630): Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids? http://tfl.nu/4q99

Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (372)
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(916): View more from California

Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.

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(916): Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/njx1

Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (294)

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