We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What's dad's email?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing