Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.

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  (240): I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards. http://tfl.nu/evpw
  Replies (17) Good night (1570) Bad night (5142)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  so how was last night?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

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  (586): so how was last night? (1-586): got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages. http://tfl.nu/4xoa
  Replies (21) Good night (10491) Bad night (1267)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

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  (864): I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you. http://tfl.nu/pv7t
  Replies (11) Good night (7600) Bad night (1236)
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  (619): View more from California

  he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house

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  (619): he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house http://tfl.nu/t2gc
  Replies (3) Good night (3315) Bad night (810)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.

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  (609): At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared. http://tfl.nu/jdkh
  Replies (8) Good night (2937) Bad night (1042)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster

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  (870): We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster http://tfl.nu/c1fy
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (1790)
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  (707): View more from California

  I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister

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  (707): I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister http://tfl.nu/vdmj
  Replies (7) Good night (2498) Bad night (848)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...

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  (304): Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof... http://tfl.nu/amda
  Replies (4) Good night (1132) Bad night (1688)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge

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  (360): i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge http://tfl.nu/hurt
  Replies (6) Good night (1672) Bad night (584)
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  (631): View more from New York

  ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight

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  (631): ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight http://tfl.nu/dytu
  Replies (30) Good night (2723) Bad night (647)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (601)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte

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  (856): she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte http://tfl.nu/jlfx
  Replies (3) Good night (911) Bad night (352)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  can i bring anything?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  is there a theme i should know about?

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  (412): can i bring anything? (443): Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer (412): is there a theme i should know about? http://tfl.nu/49rz
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (293)
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  (949): View more from California

  Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.

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  (949): Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young. http://tfl.nu/8x4p
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday

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  (603): I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday http://tfl.nu/xfd1
  Replies (0) Good night (362) Bad night (155)

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