Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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