just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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