Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
