Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
