SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
