I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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