He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
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Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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