I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize