I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
