yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
