The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
