Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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