I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
