It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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