I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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