Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
