I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
