There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
