so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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