The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
