her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
